So each week I submit 25 headlines to the folks at The Onion. Sometimes the headlines move on to fame and fortune. Other times however, they experience a much different, much less glamorous, outcome: Rejection Hell. But before these bad boys embark on an eternity of anonymity, I've decided to give them a proper sendoff. With that, here's a sampling of some headlines that didn't make the cut.
And because the world of humor writing is a Rejection Paradise, this list will be updated on a regular basis. Check back often and read what you won't read in The Onion.
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Co-Workers Share Same Pee Schedule
Child Never Says A Darndest Thing
Moustache That Once Belonged to Tom Selleck Found Living in Cuba
Woman Finds New Yorker Cartoon “Fucking Hilarious”
Baby Tiffani Looking Forward To Career As Stripper
Ronald McDonald House Patient Prefers Burger King
Man’s Friends Sick And Tired Of Hearing About Craig’s List
Employees Jealous Of Recently Fired Coworker
Nationwide Tater Tots Shortage Causes Panic Among Area Schoolchildren
Avian Flu-Carrying Bird Dies After Eating Spinach
Office YouTube Guy Getting On People’s Nerves
Outbreak Of Cooties Reported In Georgia School
Despite His Famous Namesake, Area Scott Baio Can’t Get Laid
Ad Agency Creative Director Not All That Creative
Clown Admits Being Scared Of Himself
Woman Tired Of Looking On Bright Side
Ultimate Fighting Now To Include Bears
Man Keeps Fucking Up Outgoing Voicemail Message
Radio Shock Jock Annoys Even Himself
Pregnant Woman Steals Thunder From Friend’s Engagement Party
Area Critic Says Beethoven Overrated
Community Theater To Stage “Mac and Me”
Study: If Freddy Kills You In Your Dreams, You Die In Real Life
Multiple-Winged Chicken Cloned To Keep Up With The Demand
Decades Later, Viewers Still Unsure As To What Willis Was Talkin’ ‘Bout
Newborn Is An Asshole
College Student Plans To Spend Winter Break Overhyping Sex Life
Gift Shop Visit Overshadows Museum Field Trip
School Science Fair Features A Record 87 Volcanoes
Coworker Much Funnier Over E-mail Than In Person
Tuesday Cancelled Due To Lack Of Interest
Controversy Brews Over Local Museum’s “Lego Jesus”
School’s AV President Getting Used To Idea Of Abstinence
Office IT Guy Tired Of Proving He’s Not Condescending
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© 2006 robbloom.com.