Archive for June, 2009

“Mom, Can I Be Black?”

Wednesday, June 24th, 2009

That’s what I asked my mom when I was six years old. The reason for my request? Michael Jackson. Like millions of others, I idolized the guy. Of course, in the case of MJ, “idolize” meant dressing up like him (complete with sequined glove, socks, and red zippered jacket) and moonwalking (as best a klutzy six year old can do) around the house.

Around 1984, Michael and his brothers traveled the country with their Victory Tour. Among their stops was Jacksonville, FL, only a few hours from our home in Coral Springs.

It sounds sappy but I’ll never forget that concert. The experience of being inside that massive outdoor stadium. The pyro, smoke machines, and dazzling special effects. Seeing Michael moonwalk so effortlessly across the stage. I was in awe.

That night, a photographer asked my parents if he could snap of photo of me in my MJ garb. A few months later, while checking out the Michael Jackson books at a mall bookstore, I saw myself in print. Unreal. The photographer, a guy named Mark Bego, had used the shot and printed it in his Victory Tour anthology “On the Road with Michael” (out-of-print but available on eBay!).

In the wake of Michael’s death, people are remembering the past and the impact Mike made on music, pop culture, and our lives. Despite the wigs and makeup, the nose jobs, the sleepovers, the surgical masks, the documentaries, the sleep chambers, the Elephant Man’s bones, the lawsuits, the pain killers, the masked children, the baby danglings, the disturbing allegations, and dozens of other crazy behaviors, I’ll always remember how I felt that night in Jacksonville. A little kid going to see a true larger-than-life personality do what he does best: entertain.

Thanks, Mike.

rob-bloom

Yankee Doodle Somethingorother.

Saturday, June 20th, 2009

I just got back from a three-day Carnival Cruise (motto: “All for fun! Fun for all!”). Each night, the ship’s entertainers put on a show. Here’s an :18 snippet of their “Tribute to America” show.

Brace yourself.

Awkward Interaction of the Week (so far).

Tuesday, June 16th, 2009

Setting: Walking into apartment building. A man, 40s, is paying the pizza delivery guy. A box of pizza is sitting on the floor.

ME (trying to pass): Excuse me.

MAN: I put the pizza here (points to the floor)! You know, to prevent certain members of the family from eating it! You know? (laughs)

Not to be confused with Moshe’s Motors or Saul’s Sedans.

Monday, June 15th, 2009

gentile

Checking In With Mark Malkoff.

Saturday, June 13th, 2009

Let’s check in with Mark Malkoff, an Airtran plane, and toilet paper.

What happens when you roll toilet paper down the aisle of an airliner and then flush? Mark Malkoff conducts an experiment to find out while he lives aboard an AirTran airplane for 30 days.

Favorite comment overheard today at Target.

Thursday, June 11th, 2009

Setting: Aisle with Band-Aids, etc.

WOMAN (holding box of wart remover bandages about two inches from her face and speaking to no one in particular): Hmmm…I wonder if this’ll get rid of my plantars, too.

Awkward Moment of the Week.

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Setting: I’m walking Chloe down the street when, up ahead, I see a man walking his poodle. Chloe, sensing a little butt sniffing in her future, eagerly walks in their direction.

ME (to man): Is your dog friendly?

MAN laughs (and this is not an exaggeration) maniacally.

MAN: Nope!

MAN continues laughing.

If.

Sunday, June 7th, 2009

Sometimes, and this is rare, you come across something so incredible, so fantastic, so damn beautiful that you just have to share said discovery.

Once again, Matt from AlertNerd.com has made such a discovery. Sit back, relax, and get cozy to spend 2:58 with Telly.

I’ve got chills.

Who loves ya, baby?

Saturday, June 6th, 2009

Thanks to Matt from AlertNerd.com for sharing this gem. 

Wow, Telly. Wow.

That’s a lot of laughing.

Thursday, June 4th, 2009

260xstory

“I went back to my hotel and laughed uncontrollably for about three hours.” 

–Eminem on the Bruno/face-in-crotch incident at the 2009 MTV Movie Awards.