I’m Rob Bloom. This is my Roblog.

Growing up, wrestling was my life. Not the Olympic stuff where guys with short hair roll around on a little mat and, get this, use their real names! I’m talking about the Saturday morning variety where giants with painted faces wrestle in steel cages while “Mean” Gene Okerlund calls the action. Back then, it was the WWF (before the pandas made Vince McMahon get the F out) and you had guys like Hulk Hogan, “Macho Man” Randy Savage, Jake “The Snake” Roberts, Bobby “The Brain” Heenan, Honky Tonk Man, and others. 

So in 1990 when it came time to my bar mitzvah, there wasn’t any question that the theme of the event would be pro wrestling. That’s right: theme. See, during that era (11-14 years old), I went to A LOT of bar mitzvahs. Week after week, the drill was the same: a Shabbat service on Friday night and then services on Saturday morning. Of course, that was just the opening act for the real main event: a huge black-tie party on Saturday night (I’m sure this is what Moses had in mind). 

So the theme of my party was wrestling. Each table had a centerpiece of a wrestling ring and the band was set up inside a wrestling ring. T-shirts, emblazoned with the Rob-A-Mania logo, were given out to all guests. Oh, I also made my entrance into the room to the blaring sounds of Hulk Hogan’s “Real American” theme. You know, your typical sacred religious ceremony. 

Around 30 minutes into the night, an emcee invited me to the center of the dance floor and asked me who my tag team partner was. I had no idea what he was talking about. He asked the question again. Then, out of the nowhere, the band began playing the Rocky theme and who should come barging through the ballroom doors but…

Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart. Standing there, in my white tux and tails (with bright red bow tie!), I was speechless. Jim was a huge star at the time (a two-time tag team champion, to be precise) and, just the night before, involved in the big Survivor Series mega-event. 

Jim, dressed in a Survivor Series sweatshirt and Zubaz pants, marched up next to me, took the mic, and proceeded to cut a promo (wrestling speak for “fire up the crowd”) before the 100+ crowd of my elderly Jewish relatives and awkward middle school friends. 

“Everybody wants what the Hart Foundation has…the World Wrestling Federation tag team championship,” Jim screamed into the mic. “But they’re not going to get it without one hell of a fight! Right, Robbie?!?”

Jim came bearing several gifts: a three-foot trophy that proclaimed me as the Bar Mitzvah champion and his honorary tag team partner, Hart Foundation T-shirts and WWF merchandise, and a stack of autographed photos from the biggest names in wrestling. Hogan, Savage, Ultimate Warrior, “Texas Tornado” Kerry Von Erich, Jake the Snake, they were all there. And the best part? Each guy wrote a Bar Mitzvah-y message. I wonder how many people can say they have a signed from the Ultimate Warrior that says:

Now coming to your local synagogue all the way from Parts Unknown.

 

 

 

 

 

Robbie,

Happy Bar Mitzvah! Feel the power!!!

Ultimate Warrior

 

 

 

 

 

 

Here now are two of said photos. Shalom, brother!