Archive for the ‘Chloe’ Category

Chloe.

Friday, December 4th, 2009

dsc02311My wife and I been asked many questions over the past few weeks:

“How are you feeling?”

“How’s the baby?”

“Can you describe in detail the color, texture, and consistency of the baby’s poop?”

In addition to these questions, there’s also been: “so, how’s Chloe taking all of this?”

The first week was rough. Our place was a rotating door of visitors and since we specifically asked everyone to pay her plenty of attention, Chloe didn’t get her daily 20 hours of sleep. Week two was better since the house was quieter. During the day, that is. Night time was (and is) a different story. Between feedings, diaper changes, rockings, and all the other reasons that make babies scream bloody murder, nobody slept. Including Chloe who, as I said, needs her 20 hours a day of rest or, well, she’s just no good to anybody.

Overall, though, Chloe is doing great and getting used to her little brother. She realizes that, despite the restless nights, the baby has plenty of positive qualities, namely that he comes with a lot of STUFF. Or, as Chloe, sees it “more places for me to sleep.” Just check out the photo above where Chloe’s made herself quite comfortable on the Boppy pillow. Ah, siblings sharing their stuff. What more can a parent ask for?

Wonder Shih Tzu or Premier VIP Escort And Companion?

Sunday, August 30th, 2009

You’ve all read about my dog Chloe The Wonder Shih Tzu (sometimes Shih Tzu Badass). Cute, furry, snores like a sumo wrestler. You say “Chloe Bloom,” here’s what comes to mind.

photo-3

 

So you can imagine my surprise when a friend told me about another Chloe Bloom. 

This Chloe Bloom is, according to her official website, “a premier VIP Escort and Companion in Denver, Colorado.” Her site (which you must certify you’re 18 years old to enter) also offers the following links: 

TASTE

SHARE

VOYEUR

SAVOR

TOUCH

LUST

DESIRE

 

Whatever. I bet she’s terrible at chasing squirrels.

Brought to you by the letter P.

Wednesday, July 8th, 2009

My latest column is published (for your convenience) on two dandy websites.

First off, check out The Nervous Breakdown. While you’re there, enjoying my tale of Chloe’s (formerly the Wonder Shih Tzu; now Shih Tzu Badass) peeing woes, be sure to check out some of the other published writers. Lots of good stuff here.

Writer N.L. Belardes (you can also find him on TheNervousBreakdown.com) also posted this pee saga on facenews.org, an independent news source.

Thanks for reading.

chloe-1

Toonces Schmoonces.

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

Driving cats are soooo last millennium. Check out Chloe the Wonder Shih Tzu behind the wheel.

chloedrive1

chloedrive21

WARNING: Chloe is a trained Shih Tzu. Do not attempt to recreate these photos in your own car with your own Shih Tzu. Doing so might result in bodily harm, emotional scarring, and one helluva nasty letter from your local animal rights activist group.

Awkward Moment of the Week.

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

Setting: I’m walking Chloe down the street when, up ahead, I see a man walking his poodle. Chloe, sensing a little butt sniffing in her future, eagerly walks in their direction.

ME (to man): Is your dog friendly?

MAN laughs (and this is not an exaggeration) maniacally.

MAN: Nope!

MAN continues laughing.

Ever wondered what a Shih Tzu does at 8:00 AM on a Wednesday?

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

photo

Awkward Interaction of the Week (so far).

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Setting: Walking Chloe around neighborhood.

NEIGHBOR (walking her dog): Is that a girl doggie?

ME: Yep.

NEIGHBOR: ‘Cause this guy (pointing to her dog) is horny!

Awkward Interaction of the Week.

Wednesday, April 29th, 2009

Setting: Pet Store. Grooming Center.

GROOMER: What kind of dog is Chloe?

ME: She’s a Shih Tzu.

Groomer scribbles on a card: Chloe. Shit Su.

Hairy and hairier.

Thursday, April 2nd, 2009

chloe-and-friend

Chloe plush toys: coming soon to a retailer near you!

The Playdate.

Sunday, March 1st, 2009

Recently, Chloe the Wonder Shih Tzu and Humphrey (the Westie) had a playdate. After nearly an hour of playing, peeing, wrestling, and chasing, the two snuggled in for a little window-staring time.

Cuteness overload in 3, 2, 1…

chloe-playdate